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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530543">What Did You Just Call Me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterReadsStuff/pseuds/WriterReadsStuff'>WriterReadsStuff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Not Canon Compliant, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:29:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterReadsStuff/pseuds/WriterReadsStuff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“God, Peter, where are your senses? I’m meant to keep you safe when May isn’t around, so I put these rules up to protect you, and what do you do? You barely pay them any mind! You don’t even try to see things from my perspective!” </p><p>“Sir, please, I just-“ But Peter could not finish his rebuttal, as he was quickly shot down by the looming voice of his mentor. </p><p>“Peter Benjamin Stark, you listen to me!”<br/>-<br/>Or, Tony has a minor slip up when giving Peter his weekly why-do-you-keep-trying-to-get-yourself-killed lecture.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Helen Cho &amp; Peter Parker, Helen Cho &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>446</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Did You Just Call Me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt fill: “Peter accidentally calling Tony ‘Dad’ is great and all, but consider: Peter is in trouble, probably for doing something dangerous, and Tony ‘perpetually on the verge of a worry-induced heart attack’ Stark is chewing him out and pulls the ultimate Dad card by calling him by his full name, but accidentally says Peter Benjamin Stark“</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had happened so fast that Peter barely even noticed it. One moment, he was webbing up this <em>weird guy with robo-tentacles jesus christ</em>, and the next, he was lying on the ground with a grade 3 concussion and a broken arm. </p><p>He tried to stand up, but only slung a few more webs before his vision went all out of wack and the world got dark.</p><p>Now, call him an idiot, but he wasn’t expecting the next thing he saw to be Dr. Cho leaning over him with a flashlight. Or, he sort of was, but he didn’t know it was going to be so bright. Mr. Stark never said it would hurt that much, the boy pondered wearily.</p><p>Cho smiled, almost amused.</p><p>“Have fun trying to get yourself killed?” The doctor asked.</p><p>“I was fine.” Peter retorted, which was clearly a bold-faced lie. “Sure you were, Peter. That’s why Sam had to carry you back here after finishing off Doctor Octopus in your place.” </p><p>“Sam did what?” Peter asked, laughing at the top of his lungs. Sam had never been the nicest to Peter, and even if they both treated it more as a joke than actual beef, it was hilarious to imagine the older man doing something so kind. </p><p>He continued laughing, neary running out of breath in the process. “Sam Wilson, the man who once doused me in peppermint oil to see if I would have an allergic reaction, carried me back to the tower?” Peter clarified, bursting into another fit of giggles.</p><p> “Alright, enough, no more laughing. You’re serotonin levels are bursting the charts right now, if you keep exerting yourself I’ll have to sneak a sedative into your juice. And something tells me Tony wouldn’t like it if he had to give you a lecture while you were in a medically induced state of sleep.” </p><p>Oh. Now, that.... that’s not funny. That’s not funny at all. </p><p>“A lecture, really? I won’t do it again, I swear!” Peter pleaded, not entirely believing himself either.</p><p>Cho turned on her heels, glaring at her patient with a sense of strong annoyance. “You snuck out to fight someone you didn’t have permission to fight, you were reckless enough to get yourself injured, and you deliberately declined all of the calls Tony sent you when he got the notification that you were in the suit. That sounds like grounds for a lecture to me, what’s your opinion?”</p><p>Peter flipped himself over on his pillow and mumbled out a muffled “th’t i’suk”. “I’m sorry Peter, can you repeat that?” Helen asked, giggling at the child’s antics and turning the boy over onto his back, beginning to adjust the monitors. </p><p>“I said that it sucks!” Peter whined, kicking the heavy blanket off of him, scoffing when he noticed it was the special one that Bruce had gotten made for Peter (aka, the only avenger that couldn’t thermoregulate).</p><p>“Well, that’s just too bad. I’m inevitable.” Mr. Stark said, startling Peter as he appeared in the doorway. “Don’t worry about it, Cho, I got him.” “Thank you, Tony.” Cho said, adjusting Peter’s blanket back onto his body.</p><p>“Mr. Stark, I can-“</p><p>“No. Don’t even start that.” Tony interrupted, staring the boy down with a glint in his eyes. He was furious, clearly having been sent into near cardiac arrest after hearing of Peter’s escapade. </p><p>Tony took in a sharp breath, allowing his strict diction to flow out of his mouth with a wave of fury. “You left the safety of the tower without permission, fought someone you knew you weren’t prepared to fight, and deliberately disobeyed every single rule your aunt and I have in place for you.”</p><p>Peter raised his head from the bed. “I had to-“</p><p>“Stop it.” Tony cut in, waving his hands wildly with strong emotion. “This isn’t your turn to talk, it’s mine, alright? If FRIDAY hadn’t noticed your little escape stunt, you would be dead! Do you think I’m going to just let you go on your merry way after you pull something like that?”</p><p>Peter tried to open his mouth, but could not get a word in. Tony was mad, clearly, completely insane and drunk on his own fear. The man was shaking now. His eyes were dilated from lack of sleep, and he was speaking so fast his words began to string together. </p><p>“You don’t realize that the world works the way it does for a reason. You’re a minor. Do you know why that is? It’s because the law believes you aren’t mature enough to be responsible for yourself, and I thoroughly agree!” Tony was laughing, cackling in an almost maniacal way.</p><p>He was panicked, clearly. Tony had gone delusional from the worrying. The boy couldn’t blame him, not really. Peter, too, knew what fear could do to a person. Far too well, following certain events he would rather not bring up due to his severely wounded pride.</p><p>“God, Peter, where are your senses? I’m meant to keep you safe when May isn’t around, so I put these rules up to protect you, and what do you do? You barely pay them any mind! You don’t even try to see things from my perspective!” </p><p>“Sir, please, I just-“ But Peter could not finish his rebuttal, as he was quickly shot down by the looming voice of his mentor. </p><p>“<em>Peter Benjamin Stark, </em>you listen to me!”</p><p>The world slowed, each breath in Peter’s lungs seemed to last a thousand years. “Wh... what was that?” He asked, aghast and confused. </p><p>But Tony, no, Tony did not even seem to notice his slip of tongue, still lecturing the boy despite his clear need for rest. “I told you to listen to me, are you even paying attention? You just-” </p><p>Peter interrupted, this time. “No. Before that.” He said. Tony stared him down, confusion taking over the state of the billionaire’s once livid face. </p><p>“You said Stark.” Peter explained. Tony’s confusion grew, as his head reeled. “What?” Peter hesitated, considering his options. While he could forget about the issue, Peter simply could not let it go. </p><p>He had heard what he had heard, and it was definitely the kind of thing he needed to question. “You called me Peter Benjamin Stark.”</p><p>Tony stared, as if he was a deer stuck in the headlights. “I did?” He asked. </p><p>Tony’s breathing grew labored, as his brain began to shake itself silly through the panic of hearing such a horrid thing. He hadn’t meant to, not consciously. It had always been a thought of his, but... no. He couldn’t have said such a thing.</p><p>But, sure enough, the boy cut his denial short with a simple “Yeah.” and a shrug. “It’s not that big of a deal, I just figured you should know.” Tony grinned back, letting his yellowed teeth show their over-exposure to coffee. “Oh.” He said. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to, kid.”</p><p>“Um, I think you’ve had enough lecture for right now. We can finish later. Get some rest, behave for Helen, she should be releasing you soon enough. I’ll stop by in a few hours to check on you.”</p><p>“Yeah...” Peter agreed, not quite sure how to react, “I’ll see you around, Dad.”</p><p>And, if anyone asked, Tony definitely <em>did not</em> give Peter the biggest hug imaginable.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, folks, comments and kudos are much appreciated!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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